She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we made out on top of his cat.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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