Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
that may or may not have been my penis.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
