you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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