I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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