I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
