he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
