My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
