In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
