I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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