The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
