you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
