when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
