we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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