Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
