Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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