the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
