sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
