Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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