I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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