Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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