I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
