What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
