i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
