I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
