you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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