I heard we made out
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize