I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
