I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
