Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
