this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
