New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
