First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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