i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
