If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
