I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
