the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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