I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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