I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
