so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
