They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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