If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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