i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
