Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
