God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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