honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
