i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
