morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
