Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
