Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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