Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
